Last Sunday, the sermon focused on how God walks with us ever more deeply, so that the motives behind our actions are brought to light and we may thereby experience greater freedom.
Just a few hours later, I got excruciating toothache—even the slightest touch of my tongue was unbearable. On Monday, I went straight to the dentist, and the X-ray confirmed that the tooth was severely inflamed. We both agreed that it would be best to pull the tooth, since it had already become loose, and I was given an injection for anesthesia right away. After a quarter of an hour, another injection was needed because the anesthetic hadn’t taken effect. After another quarter of an hour, the exact same thing happened.
After an hour had already passed and this ordeal had been repeated in vain for the fourth time, the dentist said he would prescribe a strong antibiotic and that I should come back in two days, and that the tooth could only be extracted after that. I refused to agree to this and immediately rejected the idea, since about 30 years ago I made the decision never to take antibiotics again—because back then, after a course of antibiotics, my intestines were damaged, and I had severe problems for nearly two years that required me to follow a strict diet.Then I heard God’s voice, and He made me realize that my decision from back then would prevent Him from acting—even though I had asked Him before my dentist appointment to guide the dentist with His wisdom.
The Holy Spirit had convicted me, and while I was still in the dentist’s chair, I repented inwardly and asked God for forgiveness for my distrust of Him.
Afterward, I told my dentist that I had changed my mind and agreed to take antibiotics.
I started taking the pills that very same day. They had no side effects whatsoever, and they took effect immediately. Two days later, the tooth was completely fine again and didn’t need to be extracted.
The motives behind my actions come to light time and again when I have no control over circumstances that feel threatening to me. Over the course of my life, my soul has developed survival strategies to avoid being confronted with the pain it experienced during childhood as a result of a traumatic event. These strategies are control and security. The motives behind them are not only sinful—because they stem from a distrust of God’s good intentions toward me—but they also keep me captive and bound. Jesus, however, wants us to live in freedom.